Identify Reasons on Why You Need to Talk
Many married couples face sex-related issues. This is when they decide to see a couples therapist, for example. Instead, you can try talking to each other first. However, this kind of conversation isn’t something that can be done over breakfast. You should think about what you want to say and what are the reasons for this conversation.
Some people prefer to be blunt and tell it how it is. While this is helpful in recognizing the issues, it’s probably more helpful to think of a few words you’re going to say first. This is how you ensure that your partner knows you understand there’s an issue and it’s not a big deal. Solving sex-related issues is going to be easy once you identify the reason why there’s an issue in the first place. Another important thing to keep in mind is not to go around pointing fingers.
Pick a Time and Place for Your Discussion
Since sex-related issues between couples require a conversation, you’ll need to set a date for it. Well, you don’t really need to be so strict and official about it, but having a time and place will be helpful. That’s because you and your partner are both busy people. It will be especially tricky if your schedules are very different, but you’ll need to find the time to talk about what’s wrong.
This is a conversation you shouldn’t rush, and that’s why you need to free up some time to talk about it. Plus, you have to ensure you’re in the right mindset to talk. So, give yourself and your partner time to think about what’s going on, and then talk about when the conversation will take place. Talking before bed may seem like a good idea because you’re both free, but you may be too tired to engage properly. Instead, clear out a part of your schedule.
Set Goals to Achieve With Your Conversation
Having a discussion means you want to actively work on solving your issues. It’s not just about you and your partner talking and then going about your day. Maybe your issue is too big to be immediately solved, too. That’s okay, and you should take things at your own pace.
So, what are some other goals you can set to achieve? For example, one of the goals can be being on the same page with your partner. Both of you are going to have a unique point of view. That will also mean that you both might have different approaches and ways to solve the situation. Some of your goals can include being on the same page, compromising, and pinpointing the issue.
Listen and Understand Your Partner’s POV
As you know, both you and your partner are going to have different points of view (POV). Of course, it’s important to make your voice heard. You’re right to make your partner hear you out and listen to what you have to say. This is a great time to voice your concerns about the specific issue, but try to stay on the topic. There will be a time and place for other things that may concern you.
But you should take the time to listen and understand your partner too. Let them speak freely, without judgment or interruptions, because that’s how they’ll know that this conversation is a safe space. Understanding your partner’s POV may change your opinion on the subject and help you see things from a different perspective.
Look for Common Ground and Make Resolutions
Now, it’s time to stand united. Once you and your partner hear each other out, it’s helpful to find some common ground. This is where compromising comes in. There will be things you’re right about, but there are also things your partner is right about. So, take bits and pieces from both of your POV’s into account and find common ground. It is going to be the base on which you’ll build and solve your issue.
While you talk, obvious solutions to your problems will come up. It’s good to talk about them, but the best thing you can do is actually make resolutions. Both of you need to be comfortable with these resolutions because that’s the only way you can solve your issue. Even though there is a problem, solving it shouldn’t come at anyone’s expense.
Walk the Talk
Lastly, making resolutions and having the talk isn’t enough to solve problems. You need to actively work and apply what you’ve learned during your conversation. No matter what the sex-related issue is, it’s solvable if you put in a bit more effort.
Plus, it’ll be easier for you to do your part of the bargain when you have resolutions. You’ll also know your partner’s thoughts and be able to act accordingly. These conversations are a great way to open up and be less shy to talk about sex. You can also apply the same kind of problem-solving to all other situations.
Talking is the key to being in healthy relationships, so you need to know how to have conversations with your partner. If you didn’t solve your problem immediately, don’t worry. Sometimes, things will take a bit more time. What matters is that you’re taking a step in the right direction.